HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GRANDPA MERT.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.


WE LOVE YOU GRANDPA MERT.


MISS YOU TONS TOO.

Struggling

Wow, didn't realize how long it has been since my last post. I think about posting all the time and usually the day gets by me.

Well this week has had some good points to it. One is I finially got a Pediatrition on my side with Taylor and all that is her. We had a well child check up with her yesterday and he basically confirmed one thing I really already figured out on my own. She is developmentaly behind. Which is no surprise because she has been for a long time. When I watch her threw out the day I think she is more like a 5 year old than a 7. Well after describing things that she does, and telling him how I see the younger side of her (I guess you could call it.) the doc told me "well she is acting like a 3 to 4 year old." Which sent me for a bit of a loop. I knew she was behind by like a year or so but 3 to 4 years! But its true as I deal with her and think about some of the things she is doing she really is. Some people think she is messing with us, which on some level she a little. But things like wanting a band-aid on a 2 day old scrape because it "hurts" is a 3 year old thing. Having a sudden need to be tucked in every night. Those are just a few examples. So I am struggling with remembering the patients that I used to have for certain issues (like the band-aid thing) when she was 3 and 4. But it is so hard to not get so frustrated about things. God grant me the strength I need to help her with her needs.

Then I top of struggling with her I have Daisy coming in to her teenage years. She is so ornery so often. Today I finally told her not to talk if she couldn't be nice in words and tone. Seems like every other thing she says is mean and aimed at her siblings. Lets hope her attitude gets better not worse. But I don't old out to much hope for that to happen.

The word Love

Love,







I have been thinking about this word a lot lately. Also how you treat someone when you clam to “love” them. Looking back on my life I have had a lot of people tell me they love me, and I have told people that I love them. When you love a person, be it a significant other, or a child, or a friend, or family member, how should you treat that person? Do you respect what they have to say, or just pretend to lessen? Do you do thoughtful things for them? Do you help them out in any way you can, even if all you can do is be a shoulder to cry on, or let them fight the battles of life on their own? Do you make demands of them or do you ask nicely and then show them appreciation when they help you out.

These are all things that have been running threw my mind. Why you might ask? I have been looking at my life and the people that surround me, or have in the past. Best way to learn about yourself is some times looking at the past. I have always been the peace maker. I have let people walk all over me just to keep that “peace.” People that have said “I love you.” Then turn around and for no better of a phrase stab me in the back. I want 2011 to be different. I want to feel better about me and life in general. I have slowly been making changes in my life to feel better and less stress.

If a person loves a child do they take them to a Urgent Care center if the child almost drowns, or stay at the house because the adults had been fighting and one was drinking and they didn’t want to get into trouble for not watching out for them better? If a person says they love you and want to marry you do they sit on your abdomen insisting that the other have sex with them in the middle of a park, only getting off when you start to cry? Do they get you pregnant on a bet if they love you? If you love a person do you take what they have to say in account when making major life changing decisions? When you love a person do you constantly put work and others ahead of wife/husband and kids? If you love a child that is now an adult, do you respect decisions they make about not talking with other family members, or do you continually try and get them to talk to the person. If you love a sibling, do you see what they are struggling with and find out what you can do to help, or just make things worse by putting them down every time you see them. Calling Child Protective Services on them. Or do you help them learn and grow into the house work and child care. Most of these things have been done “out of love!”


My Mother and Father in law tell everyone how sweet I am and how much they love me. My Mother-in-law tells everyone how much help I am to her and that she thinks of me like her own daughter. Every time I hear this I think I don’t really deserve the praise. I have had so many years of being put down, and told I am not doing good enough or helped out enough, that I have come to believe it.

So in 2011 I have decided that I want to be surrounded by people who respect my opinion and me as a person. I want to learn how to love myself again. I want to see the person that my In-laws see when I look in the mirror. Not the one that all those life experiences have made me feel like. I placed a child for adoption because I loved her so much I knew I could not take care of her. Even threw that I had family putting me down over it. Telling me I shouldn’t do it, family that had not hardly talked to me the whole time I was growing up. I know that I am not with out fault. I know I have carelessly used the word love. Which for the past 12 years I have been trying to use the word love as carefully as I use the word hate. I want to be know in my life for the caring and love I show, but I am not going to be a door matt any more either. Thanks for reading this and here is to an awesome 2011!

My Girl

So Daisy is entering a contest at school for the DARE program. She has to create her own DARE t-shirt. I am not really sure what the winner gets, but this project is the kind of thing Daisy loves to do. So for the past week or so we have been talking about ideas. We went to Walmart and saw the skull and cross bones and she came up with this idea. So this past weekend we have been working on it. I basically just did the iron work of the skull and the DARE letters. She did the rest. The picture to the left is the back of the t-shirt. On the right is the front side. I am so proud of the job she did. I can't wait to hear what some of the other kids did!

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Getting excited!

It is the holiday season again. Willie and my 31st birthday is right around the corner. Then you have Halloween which we have already started to get ready for.


I am thinking about have my first party this fall. A combined Halloween and birthday party. I think the kids would have fun with having some of their friends over for an evening of fun and games.
But what I am really getting excited about is not only the decorating but this year I am not working and I live right next door to my mother in law. Which means there will not be a lot of travel time to mess up baking for the holidays. It has become my favorite part of the whole holiday experience. We make all kinds of cookies and candies, and it is a lot of fun. I love how close Norma and I have gotten. Just thought I would share. Love ya all.

Glimmers Of Hope

As parents you always wonder if the things that you try to teach your children are making an impact. It seems that you have to repeat yourself so many times that they couldn’t possibly be learning. Then every once in a while they give you small glimmers of hope, when they don’t even know you are listening to them. For example we tell the kids “use your magic words” all the time. Taylor has been starting to take off with the older kids favorite toys which usually makes them scream “give it back, its mine!” She takes off running to me and says, “no! You didn’t say please!” To which the kids look at me like Mom get it back for me. I just shrug my shoulders and tell them to try asking nicely. Taylor usually gives what ever she has taken back after they ask nicely for it. I guess it is her way of getting the older kids attention. Also my small glimmer of hope that what we are trying to teach is working

Songs that make us laugh

So almost 2 years ago now I was told that my husband and I where "Backwoods UN-educated hicks." Which at the time really bugged me. But we have come to embrace that and have made it a running joke in the house with the kids and each other. When Willie and I hear these songs we laugh and say they are our theme songs. Thought I would share and hope you get the laugh that Willie and I do.









Oh and since I have not written in a while. Things are good with us. We are starting the new year out happy. Daisy is starting the pre-teen drama already. Marybeth just got glass last month and is enjoying being able to see better. John boy just lost his first tooth. Taylor is slowly starting to behave better in class. Work is going great for me. I love being up at the Service Desk.